Sup Spud Squad,
Roll out the welcome mat for another round of The Daily Tater's juiciest picks on free agency fates, dishing out the dirt on the players who are still hot potatoes even after the top ten have been bagged and tagged. Buckle up, tater tots, we're about to unearth some serious player profiles!
11: Josh Hader, LHP
Crack open a cold one because Hader-ade's back on the roster this '23, though it's got a slight aftertaste of days gone by. At the ripe age of 30, Hader's packing more punch than a zesty pile of fries, despite a walk rate puffier than a rain-soaked spud. When it comes to hitters trying to feast, they're getting served more famine, thanks to his miserly pitch handouts. His fastball and slider might be a throwback, like those jeans you can't ditch, but he’s still clutch when the chips are down. He's eyeing a four-year deal, but a heads-up to those signing checks: bullpen arms can go from fresh to stale quicker than a pantry potato, so buyer beware.
12: Jorge Soler, OF
At 32, Jorge Soler's the outfield riddle with a bat that thunders and a mitt that’s, well, not exactly made of gold. Soler’s swings send balls flying like they've been hit by Thor's hammer, and he’s cruising towards a payday sweeter than pumpkin pie—if he can promise to keep that glove under wraps.
13: Jeimer Candelario, 3B
Staking out third base at 30, Jeimer Candelario's the switch-hitter who's swinging for the fences with newfound might. After a dip, he bounced back with 22 home runs, showing off a bat with more spring than fresh fries. His glove might not be top-shelf, but with his double and dinger specials, he’s looking to land a fat contract as loaded as his stat line.
14: J.D. Martinez, DH
Step up, folks, to the power show, where Martinez at 36 is still knocking them out like a carnival champ. Now in Dodger blues, he’s still got some tricks, launching 33 big ones, a tally he hasn't cozied up to since '19. But, he's also missing hits like a prospector striking dirt, with a strikeout rate that’s more eyesore than stat. Yet, when Martinez connects, it’s solid gold. Still, time’s a relentless beast, and any slowdown could mean a downturn as somber as a cloudy sunset. But in '23, Martinez was kneading those pitches like a master baker, leading to a plush one-year, $10 million gig with the Dodgers. Any new deal might come at a clearance price, given his one-trick pony show at the plate—though it's one heck of a trick.
15: Lucas Giolito, RHP
Giolito's been all over the map—Chicago, Anaheim, a Cleveland layover—turning his season into a full-blown road trip. After changing teams, his stats inflated like a full moon, with homers popping off him like toppings on a deluxe spud. His fastball’s still packing, but his spin's down and his slider’s sagging more than a lazy Sunday. What's up with the 2019 magic? At 29, the heat's there, but the results are messy. Teams might gamble, thinking a change of scenery could be the missing ingredient. Our bets? Giolito's ripe for a one-year "show us what you got" deal to whip up that All-Star flavor we all remember.
16: Rhys Hoskins, 1B
Hoskins, 31, is Philly's dynamo who's ridden more waves than a spud on a surfboard. Side-lined in '23 with a nasty knee, he’s betting on a comeback to plant his homers like a cash crop. His fielding might be lumpier than your aunt’s gravy, but with a bat that mashes, he’s on the hunt for a juicy contract to keep him feasting at first base or as a DH.
17: Lourdes Gurriel Jr., OF
At 30, Gurriel Jr. found his sweet spot in left field, even if he's more of a quick fix than a perennial staple. With a .291 average and some undercover power, he’s the kind of surprise you get when you find an extra fry in the bag. His defense? It's okay, not a total buzzkill.
18: Teoscar Hernández, OF
Hernández's tale is like a detective story with a missing slugger bat. Once a power deity, his stats took a dive in Seattle, turning his Mariners stint into a bit of a shipwreck. On the road, his bat’s alive, at home, it’s napping. Still, there's hope: his numbers suggest he’s just been hexed, and his strikeouts could be a short fling. His outfield game’s stepped up, making him a gamble with a potentially huge payoff—if he can get that bat back in line.
19: Kevin Kiermaier, OF
Kiermaier, the 34-year-old fielding wizard, makes the outfield his personal stage. His bat may not be headline stuff, but when he gets on base, he's a solid pick for any squad craving a centerfielder with more catches than a short-order cook at a BBQ.
20: Kenta Maeda, RHP
At 36, Maeda's the comeback contender with a recovery tale twistier than spiral fries. Post-surgery, he's shown he can still dice up batters with the best. Age isn't on his side, but his seasoned arm could spice up a team’s rotation looking for a little veteran zest.
Today’s Tater is brought to you by The Daily Tater’s No. 18 Free Agent, Teoscar Hernandez who went yard not once but twice for 5 RBI’s. Watch the free agent outfielder do it here, maybe for your favorite team next:
And that's your Daily Tater roundup for today! Keep your eyes peeled for more free-agent forecasts. Next up, we'll dig into the prospects who are sprouting up in the farm system. Until then, keep your cleats clean and your stats dirty!
-Sultan of Spuds, The Daily Tater