Sup Spud Squad,
Welcome to the first heaping helping of "The Daily Tater," folks, where we peel back the layers of baseball with the zest of a bench-clearing brawl. So grab your peanuts and Cracker Jacks, and let's dissect the potato patch that is this year's free-agent class, shall we?
If last year's free agent crop was a hearty Idaho spud, this year's is more like those sad, last few tots you find at the bottom of a takeout bag – slightly greasy and not so satisfying. We've got one celestial body in the mix, a sprinkle of other standouts with a bit of shine on their trophies, and a whole bunch of...well, let's just say the spud bin's looking a tad empty on the position-player side. By the magic of Fangraphs, a mere 11 would-be free agents swung their bats to a 2 WAR or better in 2023. Max Muncy took his bat and went home early with an extension, and Brandon Belt looks like he's eyeing the comfy recliner of retirement.
As for franchise-altering shortstops, sorry to mash your hopes, but if you're in the market for one, you're about as timely as a rain delay in the ninth when you're down by ten. The elite club is closed, and your wallet's not fat enough this time around.
Now, for the crème de la crop, my top 10 free agents for the season – ranked not by the wild dreams of their agents, but by the sober second thought of yours truly, should I ever find myself in the lofty perch of a GM's chair. And remember, these predictions are about as firm as a poorly maintained pitcher's mound.
A quick hat tip to the data diggers at Baseball-Reference, FanGraphs, and MLB's Baseball Savant for the stats that fuel our fires here.
1. Shohei Ohtani, RHP/DH
The Sultan of Stats. The Duke of Dual-threat. The man who’s been smashing and pitching his way into the hearts of fans and the nightmares of opposing teams. Ohtani's bat alone is like finding a golden tater in your field, and his pitching – when his arm's not in the shop for elbow tweaks – is nothing to scoff at either. If he weren't a real person, you'd think he was dreamed up in a fantasy baseball lab. But alas, the elbow goblins have paid him a visit again, which puts his pitching future on a "to be determined" basis. Not that it dampens his free-agent glow much – he’s the Mickey Mantle of our times, minus the New York nightlife, and with a much better Instagram presence.
2. Cody Bellinger, CF/1B
Cody's 2023 was like watching a Phoenix rise from Arizona, except this bird took flight in Chicago. He's the poster boy for "What have you done for me lately?" given his prior slumps. Bellinger's so good in the outfield, making him play first base feels like using a racehorse to plow your fields. Still, there's a twinge of risk here – like opting for the hot salsa when you know you’ve got a sensitive stomach. But, recent performances speak louder than past echoes, and this is a bet many are willing to place.
3. Aaron Nola, RHP
Aaron's not just a pitcher; he's a craftsman, painting the corners like he's Michelangelo and the strike zone's his Sistine Chapel. Sure, he's had a wobble here and there – but who among us hasn't? Nola’s the kind of ace you'd want up your sleeve, not on someone else's roster, and if the Phillies let him walk, it's the kind of goof you need a century to live down.
4. Yoshinobu Yamamoto, RHP
Coming straight from the "watch this space" department of NPB is Mr. Yamamoto. With a fastball that sizzles and a splitter that baffles, he's got more tricks up his sleeve than a magician at a kid's birthday party. And while his delivery might look like he's trying to solve a Rubik's cube mid-windup, it's as effective as it is quirky. If he can keep the long balls as rare as an unassisted triple play, he might just be the next big import.
5. Blake Snell, LHP
Blake's the kind of lefty that keeps batters guessing and managers pacing. That ERA after the All-Star break? Glacial. But those walks? Heartburn for a skipper. Sure, he's got the stuff to hoodwink hitters, but if he's handing out passes to first base like they're going out of style, those charity strolls can come back to haunt him. He's a puzzle wrapped in an enigma, throwing bullets one minute and head-scratchers the next. Whoever signs him is hoping they're getting the Houdini of the hill, not the generous gentleman of the game.
6. Sonny Gray, RHP
Sonny's like that vintage car that just keeps purring no matter the miles on it. Sure, he's not the tallest on the lot, but since when did we start playing basketball here? With a heart as big as his ERA is small, Gray's proven he can spin that baseball like a DJ at a club – and keep hitters swinging at air all night long.
7. Jordan Montgomery, LHP
A steady hand on the tiller, Montgomery's the type of pitcher who doesn't just play the game, he's in it for the long haul. That consistent southpaw of his has been carving through lineups with the precision of a sushi chef. Sure, he's not the flashiest name on the marquee, but you don't need all the glitz when you've got grit. His uptick in velocity is like a fine wine getting better with age, and with those numbers, he’s turning heads and tightening gloves. If you're betting on durability and dependability, Jordan's your ace in the game of long toss.
8. Eduardo Rodriguez, LHP
Eduardo's had more ups and downs than a rollercoaster at Coney Island, but when he's on, he's on. His cutter's got more bite than a great white, and that changeup will have you swinging at shadows. He’s a walking testament to resilience – bouncing back from a heart scare to show he’s got plenty of beats left in that competitive chest. Teams looking for a mid-rotation arm with the potential to dazzle would do well to snap up Rodriguez. Sure, he's not a guaranteed gem, but in the right setting, he could shine like a diamond in the rough.
9. Matt Chapman, 3B
Chapman’s golden glove may have lost a little luster, but he's still snagging more than his fair share of highlight reels. At the hot corner, he's still your guy, even if he’s not quite the vacuum cleaner he once was, though he did just win his 4th Gold Glove Award this past Monday. Offensively, well, the chap's got pop, even if he's more likely to send a breeze through the stands than a ball. He's the type of player that gives you a solid base with the potential for those game-changing moments. Yes, there might be a bit of rust on the hood, but with a good polish – read: the right hitting coach – he could very well sparkle once more.
10. Marcus Stroman, RHP
Marcus is like that old jazz record – full of unexpected twists but always keeping the groove. You know what you're getting with Stroman: a dose of groundballs heavier than a lead blanket and a competitive edge sharper than a Cutco knife. He’s not the tallest tree in the forest, but he's got roots that go deep, and he's shown he can weather the storm. As long as the infield behind him can handle the dance, Stroman’s going to give you innings sprinkled with style and substance.
*Shohei Ohtani, Cody Bellinger, Aaron Nola, Blake Snell, Sonny Gray, Matt Chapman, & Josh Hader all received Qualifying Offers from their respective teams and will have until 4 pm ET on 11/14/23 to decide whether to accept the one-year $20.325 million deal.
Today’s Tater is brought to you by MLB’s No. 17 overall prospect, Colson Montgomery who launched a Tater and also won MVP of the Fall Stars Game hosted by Arizona Fall League. Watch the kid do it here:
And with that, we wrap up this edition of the top free agent list. Remember, in the great casino of baseball, every signing is a roll of the dice. But get it right, and you might just hit the jackpot. Until next time, keep those signals stealing and the hot stove blazing!
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-Sultan of Spuds